My sister Linda was supposed to drive up from Macomb today to spend some time with me in Minneapolis before I move to Madison - however one thing was missing - HER. Apparently she decided to come up tomorrow (Friday) instead and didn't call me. But that's ok - I got some much needed cleaning done. I have a fabulous new vacuum that sucks & blows like the best of them.
It's been lonely up here in Minnecrapolis. Thank God for my little girl TInker - I love her to death. I haven't had a dog of my own since my 25th birthday. His name was Copland and he was a Fox Terrier. I got him when he was just a puppy. Oh how much I loved him. His only fault was his jumping on people as they would come in the door to my house. For that I invented the "NO CAN." I read this tip somewhere: You fill an empty Coke can half-full with pennies and then tape it shut so none get out. Then, whenever your dog does something undesirable - like poop on the floor or jump on visitors - you shout: "NO!" and throw the "NO CAN" to the ground. Dogs get rattled by the awkward and unexpected sound from the pennies crashing to the ground and - after a couple times - begin to respect it - which in turn teaches them things not to do. Does that make sense?
Copland was a great dog - even though many friends would joke about him to me. After he reached two years, he started to become more and more aggressive for no apparent reason. He would growl at friends, at me, at family - for no reason - and he bit many of us - including my sister. She bent down to give him a kiss on the nose - as she had done a hundred times before - and he took a bite out of her cheek. Fortunately - it wasn't that bad - Linda ended up with some stitches on her cheek and today you can barely see the small scar left behind.
Previous to this incident, I had taken Copland to the Vet for blood tests and hoping for an explanation of these aggressive outbursts. The Vet had no good answer except - sometimes things "go wrong" with dogs. He suggested obedience classes and I happily obliged. Copland and I went through a 6 week course. He did really well - no aggressive outbursts - during the sessions - but at home it was different. Then I began to blame myself - maybe I did something wrong? I don't know.
Copland just kept getting worse and worse to the point where no one - including me felt safe around him. And after he bit my sister, I knew what I had to do -and to this day it was one of the worst days of my life.
I had Copland put to sleep.
It was my decision - no one forced me to - even Linda didn't want me to do it. She loves animals just as much as I do. But, Copland was just going downhill and I didn't want to put anyone in danger of being mauled by him.
The day I decided to do it, I drove him to the Vet. He was so excited because he loved to go to the Vet to see & smell all the other dogs there - and perhaps get a whiff of a cat or two. But - as I tried to explain to him in the car - he wouldn't be coming back from this visit. I talked to him as if he could understand me and told him that he was going to go to sleep and go......and go where all the good dogs go...and that he'd be happy there and that......and that I'd miss him so much and I loved him so much.
I walked in the Vet's lobby - tears streaming down my face - as they are now. No words were said to the receptionist - as I had called ahead to explain the situation. My tears turned into uncontrollable crying....I looked down at him and he was waging his tail and knelt down beside him and hugged him forever - telling him I was so sorry and that I loved him so very much and that I'd miss him - but he'd be going to have fun with a whole bunch of other dogs. I whispered in hi ear "You'll be able to run as long and as far as you want Copee - just run and play and have all the fun you want....."
With that I stood up and handed the leash over to the Vet. assistant - who was visibly upset as well. She asked if I'd like to come back to say one more goodbye - but I passed and gave Copland one more hug - "Take him...take him..."
He was so happy....I watched as he trotted down the hallway. Just before entering the back room, he paused and looked back at me as if to say "Aren't you coming too Jerry?" No....no..not today Copee. Then he was gone....and I collapsed.
I picked myself up and stumbled to my car and sat there for 45 mins crying tears that would not stop. I wasn't losing a pet - I was losing my friend. I love you Copee.....
No one in my family knew I had decided to do this - because I didn't want any one of them to think they had influenced my decision to put him to sleep. I got home and the first person I saw was my Dad. He had a troubled look on his face - because I think he figured out what had happened. He asked me - "What happened?" and I replied "Copland's gone now...." My dad started to cry with me. He loved Copland just as much. That was one of the few times I actually saw my dad cry. He hugged me and told me he loved me. Then, I went home to be alone....but this time, there would be no wagging tail at the front door as I walked in....there would be no Copland.
To this day I have blamed no one for Copland's demise. It was just the right thing to do. Linda got just as upset as I had been when she heard that I had put him to sleep. She loved him. And she didn't do anything "wrong" that would have made Copland bite her. Copland just had some circuits wired the wrong way.
Yes, I still get very emotional when I think of Copland - even when his odd behavior is at the butt of "friendly" jokes from friends and family members. I miss him so much. But I know he's running around up there somewhere having the time of his life.
I love you Copee!
Your dad - Jerry
